30 Sep

I am on a plane home sipping on a Twist of Lime Topo Chico attempting to process the weekend I just experienced through typing and thinking and recalling all God did in such a short time. Through stories and faces and encouraging words, God molded my heart and my desires towards the plans he has for my life.

I spent the weekend in Frisco, Texas at the Liberate Conference put on by the organization that I will be working with for a year in Uganda (International Justice Missions). I knew plenty about the organization, I knew their strategies and their mission statement and their success rates for ending human trafficking and human slavery. All this knowledge I had and yet none of it was tangible, none of it seemed actively applicable in my life, but rather something I would leave to do in a few months. I am so thankful God is molding my heart to think differently. He made it so clear that this was His plan for my life and I said yes and I followed and now the fire that was lit is being fanned into a flame and I am thankful for that.

We listened to stories of freedom and life change, but we also heard stories of unexplainable loss and to all of it we praised God for what he is doing and what He has done. Ellie Holcomb was there and Jennie Allen and Louie Giglio and I fan girl’d pretty hard. Sometimes it felt like the wisdom in the room could blow the roof off.

And through all of the stories heard and the songs sung the looming feeling of being overwhelmed weighed heavy all weekend. I am overwhelmed to see how much good is coming from this organization, I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to be a part of it and on the flip side I am overwhelmed because I do not feel worthy or equipped or prepared for the magnitude of the challenge. I do not feel like my talents could make any actual difference. I do not feel capable and the issues seem so large-- the gravity of them weighs the room down, the realness of disparity and the need for change (even after everything IJM has successfully done over the past 20 years) it seems daunting and I am overwhelmed and the only thing keeping me going is the reminder that I am simply called to be faithful to the present moment.

We are called to say “yes” to what is directly in front of us. To this day, today, I am going to be faithful with what is in front of me today and trust that God will handle the rest. Because, wow, He always has. It is through many consecutive singular acts of faithfulness that battles are fought. I just pray we rely on His strength as we attempt to take each step.

And in small singular acts of faithfulness we can fight the war and win. 

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it spring forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19

September 30th, 2018 Update:

Days until I move: 121

Fundraising Completed: 31%

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