I already broke my New Years Resolution, and that’s why I made it. I made it so that I could be more aware of how often I break it. It is a seemingly impossible resolution… not too different from any other year.
I have done every kind of New Years Resolution. Eat healthier, give up sodas, run a marathon, stop saying bad words, the list goes on. This year I wanted to challenge myself with a resolution I knew I could not do. I hope you are following me. I set a New Years Resolution that no human could possibly stick to, precisely because of the fact that we are human. I am human and I mess up and fall short a lot, a daily reminder of that is a daily reminder of the grace I so desperately need on a moment by moment basis. It is not just sheer dumb luck that has gotten me this far, but the kind and loving Giver of grace who has paved the way for me. He sees us all mess up and fall short and yet, He continues to be kind and give us undeserved grace.
My New Years resolution was to put others first.
Sounds Elementary, but after 8 days now I would argue that it is anything but that.
What? The girl moving to Africa doesn’t always put others first? My siblings are rolling there eyes right now. NO. I don’t, I am very, very good at thinking of myself and my own feelings before others. It’s the disease of humanity and I am no exception. There is no putting an end to it, but a road block or two won’t hurt. So this year I am working on being aware of it.
When I am concerned for my own well being and neglect the feelings of those around me. Broken resolution. When I work hard on something without taking the time to consider how it affects others. Broken resolution. When I go an entire day so wrapped up in the things I need to get done and the things I need to do that I do not stop a single time to consider someone other than myself. Broken resolution.
The resolution hangs over my head, and the weight of it hanging there has been refreshing. It has given me a new outlook, and I hope it lasts. Because that’s what new years resolutions are for, they are for new outlooks, new approaches to the same old same old. This year is going to be challenging, but this year is not about me.
So every time I want to sit and complain about whatever obstacle I face while in Africa, I hope I remember, its not about me or my comfort or my success. It is about the people I am going to help, the people I am going to serve. I am lucky that I am surrounded with people who are good at reminding me of this and I am thankful that I serve a God who has unending amounts of grace for all of those broken resolutions.
January 8th, 2019 Update:
Goose is happily at his new home for the year. He is loving being with his twin sister, I am so thankful to the Read family for all the picture updates and all the peace of mind.
This Sunday (January 13th, 2019) I fly out to D.C. for a week of training at headquarters. From there I will slowly make my way to the field office allowing for time to see some people I love and adjust to the time change. That means seeing my sister in NYC for a few days and then one of my best friends in London for a few days as well. It will be bitter sweet time that I get to spend with them before I start working in Uganda at the end of January. Please be praying for safe travel for me and for all the other interns heading out this January to field offices around the world.
Days until I move: 21
Fundraising Completed: 57%