There is something about the peace that comes over you when you finally make a big decision (especially when you know it is the right decision). I long for that feeling in my life because it is a good feeling. Not all decisions come with it, some big, difficult decisions have no peace associated with them whatsoever. But then there are some that do, and if the decision making is left up to me, then I like to wait for the peaceful feeling before pulling the trigger. Sometimes that means I tend to wait until the last moment, that does not mean I have not thought about it (although sometimes that is exactly what it means) but most of the time it means that I have put so much though and consideration into the topic that I have full confidence in what it is I am looking for.
Take my tiny house in Oxford for example. I am living on a law school budget, but I also had in my head exactly what I wanted in a post-undergraduate house in a college town. I knew what I wanted was possible with my budget, but it would be a challenge to find. During my search someone told me,” beggars cannot be choosers”, I would have to agree to disagree with that statement. I looked all over town, it took months but the moment I walked into the house I have now, I knew immediately it was what I had been looking for all this time. A peace came over me, I signed a lease that day.
“Beggars cannot be choosers.” Sometimes this is true, I am familiar with what it feels like to ask a lot from people. Sometimes I get exhausted from asking people for things, whether it is donations for my move to Africa or simply a ride to get my car from the shop, I often feel as if life frequently puts me in situations where I have to resort to graceful begging. I like to think that I am capable of figuring out how to meet my needs on my own, but I know that is not true. Whether I feel confident in my ability to ask the right people, or just my general confidence in my community around I know God has been so kind to surround me with people who check in on me and care for me. They are my constant reminder that I cannot rely solely on my own abilities to meet my needs.
One thing I have been begging God for lately, and being choosey at the same time, was a family to watch my dog while I am in Africa. It’s a lot to ask of a person, to love and take care of a dog for a year, then give him back. I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. I didn’t want Goose (my dog) to be a burden on anyone. A handful of loved ones and friends had offered, but I was waiting for peace. Everyone who offered would have taken terrific care of Goose, but I just didn’t have peace about the situation yet. This week God gave me the head nod. The family who owns Gooses twin sister Gabby offered to keep Goose for the full year. He won’t be a burden, they will love him so well, Goose will be happy with his sister, and I am so at peace. God has answered one of the biggest (or at least the fluffiest) prayers through the kindness of my community, I am rejoicing.
We cannot always meet our needs on our own. God says that through prayer and petition we are to bring our requests to him (Philippians 4:6). If I am honest, it felt a little silly bringing this prayer about Goose to God. But I have been reminded that no request is too strange, and I am thankful He gave me the confidence (and ability) to be picky, because the reward was his peace, and it was exactly what I needed.
November 25th, 2018 Update:
Days until I move: 65
Fundraising Completed: 41%